Common tests are over and I'm glad but coming to think of it, I have got nothing to do during the holidays and I don't plan to do anything except for doing projects.... I just want to drown in this loneliness and slap myself til I wake up from this nightmare.

I just got this habit of getting into deep thoughts and making myself unhappy like once in every two weeks, or maybe more than that. I just like to live in my own world and want everyone to please me. Ok I've got to accept the fact that people who are close to me will accidentally (or maybe purposely) piss me off but I must accept them for who they are - This sounds so saint and unlike me. Family business had went downhill for a month I guess, its kind of bothering me though it does not affect me directly. My uncle would be pressurized, he will lose sleep, my dad would be pressurized, and he will fall sick. I'm worried for them, and when it affects my dad, I will feel affected too. Right now I am scrimp and save and not ask money from them anymore... Then I feel bothered about my own relationships and studies, I feel bothered about my mental and emotional and trust issues too.

You get heartless when you're tired of this life.

So true isn't it?