Pathetic?

Why this was, I couldn't begin to express. The earth swung back and forth in a fit of despair, eager to rid the sunlight from our greedy eyes. Day by night, and back again, the world spun circles for us to fade away. You watch the traffic outside cause caliginous puffs of ephemeral smoke and on a good day you call it a distraction. Tonight you’re counting their flaws; tonight you’re counting to zero. I'm tired of dealing with these shit for the last few years. You build me up to crash me down, that's all you can do. I want to scream, I want to fight, but I don't, cause I love you. But you still make me so mad, I just don't believe you at all. I'm not some little dog that comes to your every call but still you treat me as such. And it's always about you. You hurt me in so many ways and there's nothing I can . You'd do well to know that because slowly I see I'm shrinking, I'm getting smaller underneath you. I hate the way that sounds but now I have to pay my toll. I let you get away with so much I never got into your way. And now I have to sit, hear and listen to all the lies you say. I hope you read this, hear this, smell this, taste this. Your stupidity, your arrogance, her guilty tears, can you almost feel her friends' rage? Those stinging barbs of pure hate? Well, good for you. They're for her and because of you. What were you thinking after? After you threw her down? You used her like gum, something to chew and spit out like nothing. Well, aside from this shit, I only have two words for you, my very own special gift, fuck off.

You’re innocent.
You’re a whore.
You’re a daughter.
You’re a lover.
You’re an infant.
You’re a woman
You’ve done nothing wrong.
I wish I could tell you ‘one hundred and forty-six nights to go.’

Note to self; you’ll be okay, breathe.

-
I'm such a failure, wtf. Leeyingjie, just 0.1%, you can't even bloody get that? Fuck myself, I am srsly so disappointed. Everybody is improving yet I'm still on the same pace, moronic. I swear I am going to study full-time next year, fucking pissed like srsly. Nbcb_l_