29threplay

2012-01-26T00:26:00.002+08:00

It has been so long since I ponder this hard after school had ended last year. I used to thought to myself that after school had end, I don't have to put on a second skin on my face and be tolerant to anybody anymore, I thought that I don't have to put at with people's words and judging anymore. Then there comes jerks and witches come and ruin my life. But just so you know, you can't pull me down.

For people who likes being cunning:

2012-01-09T21:39:00.003+08:00

Been having a bad migraine ever since I collected my o levels results. My results are pretty bad in my view, this few years I've been improving much with the guidance of my teachers and suddenly, I see a C in my result slip. I was devastated. The B on it also made me shocked. But to most of us, B is fine right? So nevermind. I got a C5 for my english....... I don't know what to say.

I get really annoyed when people expect me to be the top scorer. Didn't I say I did pretty bad for my humanities? Their expectations make me feel pressured and even more upset. Didn't I worried enough and now y'all have to add on to my burden? When Mdm Thio called for my name from the screen, I see the number of distinctions on it, I knew I didn't fare well immediately. I went up to the stage, looking at my result slip first before looking at Ms Gwee, I smiled awkwardly and my tears began to gather in my eyes. I only allowed my tears to drop after the camera snapped a photo of Ms Gwee and I, then I burst out into tears. Its final, I cried tears of disappointment.

Then I see Mr Lim, his hands over my shoulders, giving me affirmation that I did really well. He knows me well, he knew that I expect better. He stood beside me throughout outside the hall, gave me a pat on my shoulders. I am really thankful. He's a teacher who make me feel like we are a family. He's so patient towards for for the past 3 years and I'm glad that he saw me went up the stage today to receive my result slip :)

Followed by Mr Leonard Ong, I can't remember lessons held by him before but he thought us PE before. He also said stuffs to make me feel better. Omg.... where to find this kind of teachers? Like they say things they meant from the bottom of their heart to make students feel better, to try their best to make their students to stop crying because they also felt their disappointment. I feel especially better with him around because he always carry this broad smile whenever I see him, so heartwarming...

I went back to my class' row and sat down, informed my best friend about my results, then Ms Fong came by..... I think she already know our english grades by then? I looked into her eyes and I can see that she was really disappointed. I don't know what to say and I just broke into tears again because I felt so sorry. I thought I had done all I could do to achieve an A or a B but I got a disappointing C. She's a really good english teacher who prepares materials for lessons with all her heart, her lessons are always full of laughters and cold jokes haha but I won't be able to experience it anymore. No one appreciates the value of a moment until it turns into a memory. I'm terribly sorry for being such a bad student who scored such bad grades.... I must be one of the worse english student she had produced. I feel so sorry.

*tears*

This marks the end of my secondary life journey...... I wish I had more opportunities to do something to make my teachers, school and myself proud. I'm thankful for all the encouragements my teachers gave me for the past 5 years which brought me this far xx

2012-01-01T03:27:00.006+08:00

HAPPY 2012 EVERY♥NE.

2011 been really bad and stressful because of studies and relationships. And by relationships I don't mean BGR, just friends and family. In 2011 I ended my 5 years education in WWSS, bond with new classmates and made a new best friend, that's meichyi, and I think that is the best thing that ever happened that year! In 2011, I also joined Sports' Day events(first time in my entire sec schl life), run for national cross country run and represent our school to join poa competitions. It really left a deep print in the journey of my secondary school life. Actually new year isn't a really big deal, I don't feel afreshed etc. Its just another day? People expect 2012 to be a better year, why not just hope that tomorrow will be better than today? I don't dare to think that far anyway.

So this year I will be getting back my results and get into a new school and make new friends. I plan to stop working at mid jan/end jan so I can enjoy my holidays and catch-up with my friends!

Last year(29/12/11), I spent my birthday with the usuals - lena, yap, bgy, dlla, yongfa, mel, yongjie,lyc at Bugis' Astons! At the end of the meal I was surprised with a birthday cake!!
They kept saying they make the cake themselves brah brah brah~~~ Then they said they took off-days just to bake the banana-chocolate cake with several attempts. I believed them. Because they sound rlly convincing hahaha then when I alighted from the train and bid goodbye to dlla, he said actually they bought the cake. Hehehe, nonetheless, I was thankful for it ;) And after our meal as Astons, we went to lasalle to spend some time together and the camwhore session began.........
Even though we only met up at the later part of the day, we had plenty of fun together!! Hehehehehehe I was definitely a happy birthday girl that day, thanks for the company, I'm really thankful to have friends like them! On our way home, I received an oversea call from meichyi!! I don't know what got into me and I broke into tears T___T I missed her too much, I'm glad she's back now hehe.

At the last day of 2011, I met my eyecandy at town for a meal. And he came with a plastic bag with the watch I had always wanted!! I just mentioned to him randomly on whatsapp and he got it for me as my birthday present. I swear I was mad happy at that instant *.* Guys like him are rly sweet but he's just my eyecandy, not a crush hehe. And aftermath, I head home and went to ryan's place for countdown~~~~ Got home at 3am and now I'm here blogging! Things now on my mind: Shopping and results day, shitto.

2011-12-15T22:37:00.001+08:00

2011-11-23T13:49:00.002+08:00

I guess this would be the last time we are together as a class. Even though its just a short one year together as a class, we had created lots of beautiful memories with our teachers. Every classes has their disagreements throughout the year, but I'm glad for our class, we have always been forgiving. This 5 years, I have been used to meet these people almost every day and now I need to get used to not seeing them yet remembering every single one of their faces clearly. I'll never forget all the happiness and memories we forged together as a class xx

2011-11-05T22:49:00.003+08:00

One more paper on the 14th and I'm done with 'o' levels, only when it comes to the weekends, I felt that this week went pass very fast. However on last monday, I was still whining why this week is passing so slowly, haha. After secondary school, its going to be a fresh start, I'm going to be a different me.

2011-10-28T21:23:00.003+08:00

I still remember the look on your face

Been through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away

I do recall now the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane
That July 9th the beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms

But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then you pulled me in
I'm not much for dancing but for you did

Because I loved your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you'd kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions

And I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips, ohh

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I'll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe
And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
We can plan for a change in weather and time
I never planned on you changing your mind

So, I'll go, sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

I never thought we'd ever last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
Just like our last kiss, forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips, just like our last

2011-10-25T23:00:00.002+08:00

I don't feel the anxiety for next week.......... Next week's social studies, geography, poa, chemistry and physics papers for olevels, sigh. I don't really feel like studying, I mean like, I don't exactly put in more efforts than I put in for prelim examinations. I'm just worried that I won't score well for combined humanities but I'm very confident with the rest :-) So I suppose its alright? I'm so tired now but I'll read geography before I sleep to make me feel better, heading out to study with my study pal tomorrow again hehehehehe someone-who-is-older-than-me-but-apparently-she-looks-younger-than-me :-p

I can't wait for olevels to end, I need freedom! I will earn lots of money and go shopping, my birthday is coming in 2months time!!!! Hehehehehehehehe. Talking about my birthday........ among all the people who said they wanted to celebrate with me, 2 are currently ignoring me now..... But I'm glad that there's people who love me initiated to celebrate my birthday with me.

Okay that's all byebye^^

2011-10-10T23:15:00.001+08:00

If only suicide is not a crime,
if only suicide don't require courage.

Ok this is just post-exams syndromes haha.

Til then.... 14 november 2011.

2011-10-03T20:34:00.002+08:00

Some things that were lost, will remain lost forever.
Even though it may appear that they're coming back, they're actually still afar.
They give you hopes that they will come back, but still, not a thing would change.

Just stop believing.

我毕业了~~~~~~

2011-09-30T17:43:00.013+08:00

Favourite photo for today

I have finally graduated from WWSS! Today doesn't feels like graduation yet because its not my official last day in school. Received letters from my classmates and schoolmates as well as msfong!! All of them are so sweet but I didn't prepare anything for them............... I was doing them last night but I only managed to do 5, yups so I'm going to do up a blogpost for them except for gina weilin and veron! Hehehe becos when i read their note/card, I immediately felt that I should do smthg for them ;)

Hi miss yap, I'm rlly glad to meet you during secondary 3. My first impression of you was that you're difficult to get along but apparently you're not!! You make people feel comfortable around you through you own ways. I'm thankful that you always sit around me in class and make me laugh by being retarded with bgys. Yes I know you've been waiting for this day!! We're finally g.r.a.d.u.a.t.i.n.g!!! I'm going to miss you too, this 3years, we've did so many things before until I can't remember them clearly (HAHAHAHAHA) We're friends, when you need help, I'll definitely help you within my means. Don't ever feel helpless or inferior, for we know that you're capable enough :-) In my eyes, you're rlly gorgeous. Don't ever feel restrained by not eating the food you love, be the way you're ok? I don't wish to see you being disappointed in your results anymore because I know that you can working hard for chemistry and math already, continue to study ok??? 让我另眼相看~~~~ I don't say this to you as often now but you know that I....... love you baby♥
Its a pity that we only get to know each other only eat secondary 5, our last year in wwss. However we get along very well despite being friends for less than a year. Our mindset, thinking (everything) is alike, our determination towards studies are the same too, we want to strive together and get good results :-) You've always been listening to my complains and it seems like we've countless things to talk about. Everytime we're thinking it seems like you're in the same age with me hehehehehe. You yuhui and co. are awesome people to hang out with, shopping after o levels~~~~~ I'll help you in terms of studies, don't worry so much!!!♥♥♥♥

My favourite boy in the class!!!! Thank you for being so understanding and forgiving everytime!! I know sometimes my attitude and temper are VERY bad but you're always tolerating me and keeping your cool(blehhhhhhhh, you should) You always give in to me and act like a gentlemen. I feel damn comfortable having you sitting beside me in class hehehehehe and then we'll joke&laugh about stupid stuffs. Please have a habit to sleep early ok?? Your complexion will be better♥ Actually you're very smart lor, but it depends on whether you want to study or not... So study OK?~~~~~~~~

To dion: I didn't forget you ok hehehehehehehe xiaobailian♥♥ Its nice hanging out with you bgy lena yap and co. everytime~~~~ We haven't been spending them tgt as a group so we should do it again SOON! Stop sleeping in class ok??? I'm going to do smthg to you if you do it again!!

And meldrickkkkkkkkk! I still remember you shouted at me last year and I cried LOL. You damn fierce please but you apologised and we peaced hehehehe. You're rlly a funny and great guy I swear. You've been a wonderful treasurer for three years and the way you handle issues are rlly great. After 3years you've became more.... handsome♥♥ Hahahahahahahahaha.

To lena: You playthe most important role in my secondary school life♥ I don't know what I would have become if you weren't here with me for 5 years. From enemies to friends to best friends to enemies to friends and to best friends again, so tedious but now we're here!! I will never forget how you abandon your barrier area during MULA, which is your first kpop concert. I ruin it..... I'm forever apologetic but I don't know how to say it out of my mouth. That night I kept crying because I couldn't see the kpop idols upclose, and also because I felt guilty, you wasted like SGD200++++? And you had to stand with me at the sick bay station, I'm rlly very sorry :( You've seen me turning from fat to skinny, uglier to not so ugly, changing crushes blablabla you just know every details and happenings during my secondary school life right? To me you're like a sister, someone who tolerates my stupid acts and bahaviour and forgive me whenever I do smthg wrong, always giving me a pat on my shoulder telling me that I can do better next time & tell me not to shed any more tears. Everytime I'm angry or crying you'll ask me i'm alright, aren't you like a sister to me? When we were allocated to the same class in secondary 3, I was like "OMG why am I so unlucky??!!" because that time we were in bad terms, but because we're in the same class, things turn for a change between us, for that we're BEST FRIENDS now. Thank you lena....... you'll see me get married right?? Kekekeke we've got tons of GOOD things to celebrate about♥♥♥

To amalina and jolene: My favourite girls from sec4NA 2011, both of you're rlly sweet people to be with!! Jolene, please don't do stuffs that will get you into trouble hor!! You should spend your times on your studies instead, of course there's time to play, but still, studies is YOUR priority for now. One day, you will find that all the hard work is all worth it when you get praised by your teachers, I assure you! Amalinananananananana my fantastic kpop mate hehehehe we'll definitely go to kpop concerts together soon!! Its so fun talking about kpop with you all the time hehehehe, you too study well for your nlvls ok?? I wish the both of you good luck and get good results for nlvls, GIVE ME A SHOCK OF MY LIFE♥

And some of my favourite people......

I can't remember how I met brenda but she's always a wonderful school mate, thank you for the gummy and letter!! Hehehe i gobbled them down alrdy so yummy!!! You're so pretty and I'm jealous :(Thank you rafi derek and xiaotian for being awesome study mates for this year and accompanying home after studying at night!!!! Its nice meeting the 3 of you, rlly. I remember I broke down terribly in an ugly manner becos of my brother infront of derek but he just kept consoling me etc, it just feels better when someone is there for you right? Thank you derek :-) But stupid xiaotian want to break friendship ties with me cos of my brother, but end up we're still hao peng you♥♥♥

And another wonderful bunch of classmates are my olevel math class, the 10 of us!!! I'll rlly miss lessons with you guys and mr chan chi thio. Maybe becos its just the 10 of us in the classroom, we'll like do things together because its easier. I remember gilbert will always top the class and we'll tell him to scram back to express stream hahahha, it was mean but he knows that we're just kidding... right? ;) And yongfafafafafafafafafa for being so nice( i mean rlly nice x417561879679357453....) to me hehehehehe. Last but now least, my dearest dingyi, the most emotional guy in this class of 10 (hahahahahaha), you know i love you right??♥♥

And the fabulous teachers.... Their faith is the fuel that kept me going :-)
Okay I'm not done yet, I'll be back to edit the post soon~~~~ Will update more photos from my friends' fb page!! Hehehehe lovelove.

2011-09-28T23:55:00.006+08:00

I'm finally graduating this friday... finally our of westwood secondary school. Honestly I feel nthg now but I know I'm going to cry so much because all of us are separating.
Veron has been my longest school mate from primary 1 til secondary 5, of course we've been through disagreements and unhappiness but now, our friendship still exist although its not as strong as the past. Not going to write a lengthy post dedicated to all my friends though, I'm lazy~~ hahahahaha.

2011-09-20T19:24:00.005+08:00

Tonight I'm going to spend my time talking about my mom, ok I will just name her bitch. I decided to blog about her because she just pissed me off, JUST NOW. What the fuck ok, I came home and the door so locked(usually its not) then she knew i was knocking the door, she turned her head, and purposely treat it as if i was non-existant(fucking bitch nbcb) until my maid came and unlocked the door, i went it and I go "BITCH" right into her face.

WHATEVER

You may think I may get striked by lightning or karma will befall on me for treating that bitch this way. HAHAHAHAHA too bad nothing happened this 6years. I'm someone who don't feel motherly love. I don't go shopping with my mother either. To me, she's like someone "renting" a room in our house. We don't talk, only she talk to me, but I don't answer her. There will either be two reasons why I will talk to her - I'm either cursing her or scolding her. To those who don't ever dare to ask me why is our relationship so horrible and start judging me - Do you even know me?

Since I was young around 11/12, she started drinking those japanese kind of wine which she learnt from her friends. She will come home drunk and quarrel with my father. She's crazy for idk what reasons, I was too ignorant at that age. I don't know how to defend my father or hate that bitch. Until when we shifted to Westwood, I started being rebellious towards that bitch. Because of her insane acts my dad also began coming home late (becos he don't want to see her fucked up face) and he had a woman outside, which I doubt they are still together now. However, I'm perfectly alright with my father, I love him so much, without him, I'm nthg today. I don't blame him for what he did, he did something wrong all because of that bitch. But he still contribute for our family, unlike that bitch bitch bitch _l_ She always hide in her room and drinks -.- When I was around sec 1/2, the only computer in our house was inside her room so I will always camp in her room and use the computer. Sometimes she will hit me or my bro for no reasons and I would slap her back. She don't deserve my respect anyway? Whenever she touch me, I will like "sweep" her fingerprints on my body away. She's damn filty. Then since secondary 3, our communications came to an halt. She stopped working since we shifted to our new house, she get pocket money(PATHETIC MUCH) from my father like 20dollars a day. She's too poor that she could only afford drinking rice wine everyday. She got no savings and oh ya, she took ALL my brother's savings (above 3K+) away when my bro was only sec1/2 and the money was like "gone like the wind".

When I was in secondary 2, I will hear doors slamming in the middle of the night, that stupid bitch start her war after drinking and quarrel with my father for no apparent reasons. Crazy much? Sometimes she will say to my dad like "Your woman outside blablablablablabla" and then I will get so furious and scold her. ZZZZ!!! When I got sore eyes, she also got it. Idk how she got it cos no one would want to have any contact with her at home. So we went to see the doctor with my dad, wtf she go and tell the nurse I got top in school for N level. I was like wtf? Cb she go tell the nurse for what? I get top also not she get top. I get top to make my dad proud not her. ZZZ -____- When she want to scold me, she only know how to scold CB and go to her room and slam her door. Hahahah loser much?

Ohya before she slam her door JUST NOW, she said smthg like "if you don't like me don't live here la" OMG THAT WAS THE GREATEST JOKE I EVER HEARD. If she stayed in the living room for one more minute, I would have spit at her and say " NO ONE WANTS YOU TO STAY HERE. IF WE SHIFT HOUSE NEXT YEAR, WE WILL NOT BRING YOU ALONG " Such a whore, she don't deserve the biggest room in our house with the only balcony lor. She think she what? Sore to my eye.

There's alot of things that happened throughout this years which me my bro are in bad terms with that bitch but I can't rlly remember every details. When I grow up and I can support myself and my family, I'm going to bring my dad and bro away from her -__- When I get married I will not even invite her (YEP I SWEAR). She don't rlly affect me in my life, I get kinda shocked when my teachers are worried that she will affect my studies, hahahahhahahahahaha she's just a pea.

I'M FLARED UP.

AND

I DON'T HAVE A MOM OK DON'T KEEP "MY MOM" "MY MOM".

2011-09-10T16:04:00.002+08:00

Autistic artist Stephen Wiltshire draws spellbinding 18ft picture of New York from memory… after a 20-minute helicopter ride over city.

I saw this post in tumblr and thought that I should blog it out, he's awesome isn't he? Everyone has their flaws but at the same time, each and everyone has a hidden talent.

What's mine?

2011-09-06T21:55:00.001+08:00

i miss talking to you

I can't believe prelims II is starting next week, it feels as though prelims I just ended yesterday. I have no idea how to start my revision. My body is tired, I'm mentally physically and emotionally exhausted. I want a long break. Why is life so tough.

2011-08-01T21:54:00.003+08:00

Got my haircut yesterday and my fringe is very short now! I'm not exactly very worried because my fringe grows really fast and I don't mind heading out with my hair all up! Btw the photo up there was taken when I've got sore eye hahahaha. I've got a sudden urge to blog so here I am!!! Around 6 more weeks to prelim and 3 months to prelims, I hope I'm well prepared.

I need some financial planning lesson....... My bank has been increasing slowly and decreasing rapidly sobs. I spent all the money I earned during weekends already. Working is very tiring because of the insufficient sleep I'm getting... but I shouldn't get money from my family for my own pleasure right? That's why I'm going to earn it myself!!

School has been good, however I still dread school. I hate the long and weary lessons, the inconsiderate teachers and sometimes intense competition. I want to graduate soon!!!! My best friend's birthday is coming soon, i love you so much :)

2011-07-06T13:00:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is the last day of prelims I and I’m finally freeeeeee……. til september when prelims II starts. Lol can’t wait to smell freedom after tomorrow! I can’t wait for olevels to end….. studying have been torturing me mentally and physically. I eat as I study and I’m pretty sure I gain some pounds :( Need to start jogging and swimming from this week onwards! I’m going to flunk my prelims because I can’t manage them, I guess i didn’t think hard enough. Its okay, I won’t cry, I’ll work harder for the papers in september xx

I needa tumblr everyday eh eh eh

2011-06-28T14:05:00.002+08:00

Prelims started!! Going to chill and relax and don't stress myself too much! I need to reassure myself that the revisions I've done are already enough lol. I hope social studies won't make me messed up tomorrow....................... God Bless Me^^

2011-06-21T20:09:00.001+08:00

2011-06-02T18:14:00.002+08:00

HELLO.

Holidays started and it really felt like holidays, our teachers didn't gave us much to do during the holidays and that's really bad... I don't know what I should revise anymore pft. I need money to survive through the holidays, hope my father will give me some money to shop hehehehe. Recently I've been addicted to subway cookies, oh man its so yummy!! And I think I'll start splurging on shoes instead of clothes(as if - actually is both). Gonna go flea with kelly and est this sat whoooops~ Ok suddenly remember I've got english worksheet to do :( I'll update again hehehehe.

2011-05-26T14:55:00.001+08:00

what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

2011-05-19T22:32:00.002+08:00

快乐的时光.... 总是过得特别快.....

2011-05-06T20:52:00.001+08:00

Wish we can rewind back to the Sports' Day period, when we were all so carefree and happy.

2011-05-01T10:01:00.002+08:00

Pulau Ubin Trip yesterday with my elective geog group!! The weather was damn perfect for kayaking, no scorching hot sun and no rain, it was super breezy and so, I'm not tanned nor do I have mozzie bites. Yay!!! Oh!! When we reached the mangrove forests.... The soil was so muddy then all our legs sink into the mud when we stepped on the soil. Super dramatic, everyone was using all their energy to take out their legs hahaha.

Just a short update and I'll be back to books!!! Today is the first day of May and its just another 1 month to prelims I, 4 months to prelims II, and 5months to o levels. Have I been working exceptionally hard? I don't know.... I always feel like its never enough. I guess revision period starts now? Going to continue to finish my TYS, redo my TYS, and do other schools' papers. Ttfn!

2011-04-18T22:52:00.002+08:00

I'll prolly not update my blog anymore until I finished my physics & chemistry TYS as well as chinese 1162, I must finish them by end may and I'll be back to blog! I miss the best friend @cj_y, hope she's coping well with her studies in jc!

2011-04-06T18:46:00.003+08:00

I'm going to blog before I head to bath! I hate school chants x100000. Sighs I thought I will be test-free this week but I've got 2 tests which fall on the same day. I know I shouldn't be whining but there's really so much to revise on. Today was a pretty bad day, do you know the feeling when you see someone who you really don't wish to see? Its like doing work you don't like, feeling awkward when you ain't suppose to. Sometimes I think whether if the problem lies on me, while I seriously don't think so. I'm who I'm if someone can't accept me, then I guess we can't be friends? And when I see that person I have to fake a smile, but inside me I'm like cursing and swearing, repeating in my head how much I wish to leave now and I don't wish to see your face ever again.

Whatever, I like who I am now. I won't be bothered by anyone and anything. Everyday I'll just study study and study, I'll do my best and excel for the national exams :)

2011-04-04T21:14:00.001+08:00

I GOT NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT

That's a good thing because I've got nothing to rant about but it's also a bad thing because my life is so mundane and uneventful :(

2011-03-31T15:36:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so sick(生病) and alone and if you're wondering, things didn't get any better.

2011-03-29T16:22:00.003+08:00

Its too much that my heart couldn't take it. I swear I feel annoying and I look like a attention seeker when I'm crying but I can't help it. I can't handle relationships and studies well, I ruin friendships and I didn't put in effort into my studies. Now the damage had been done, all I need to do is to face it.

I don't need tissues to wipe my tears off, what I really need is an assurance that someone will allow me to cry yet still stay beside me til I'm alright. I really feel so pathetic because I just realised there is really no one I can talk to? Whatever that had happened are too overwhelming to be put into words, and when people asked me what happened, I'd just tell them its a long story.. I want to tell them so much but I doubt they will be able to help either, or maybe they don't even care. Everytime I break down I'm just left alone crying, I suddenly feel so insecure.

Today I walked home crying and panting, planning to go to my room once I've reach home and cry for all I want. Now I finish crying, and I've got issues still unsolved. Crying won't solve anything... but at least it made me feel better. This world is so realistic..... They'll only come to you when they see you crying, when you didn't cry they just walk away thinking that you're alright. The funniest thing is that when you're laughing, they think you're perfectly fine inside.

So I was crying in my room, then I suddenly thought of my best friend again. I thought that why XX didn't even bother to ask me why I'm crying or at least drop me a text. Its so heart wrecking when you realised you've lost a best friend. It means that you've lost someone who care a lot for you, someone who can help you, someone you can talk to, someone who'll allow you to make fun of, someone who'll always give in to you, its like you lost someone more than a friend. Then someone tell me: Not having a best friend doesn't affect me anymore, the worse is, nobody give a damn about you. Even wasting 10 seconds to ask 'Are you OK?' is so difficult...

Right now, I really don't want to get affected by anything and anyone anymore. Right now I'll put my focus on my studies and people I should appreciate. The rest, I'll ignore. I'm going to delete ubersocial now.

We promised to always be best friends. Now we are drifting apart. You don’t even try anymore. So I guess I’m done trying too.

2011-03-25T17:14:00.000+08:00

ok i'm going to starve myself from tomorrow onwards. i don't know when i want to stop but i just want to be thin

2011-03-23T21:10:00.000+08:00

Now I'm pacing down the hall,
Chasing down your street.
Flashback to the night when you said to me nothing's gonna change not for me and you.
Not before I knew how much I had to lose.

2011-03-21T21:36:00.004+08:00

I feel utterly crashed now, nothing is wrong, nobody pissed me off, I'm not sad, as in.... I don't feel like breaking into tears. I just feel something's not right and I feel so uneasy. I've been on my own quite some while and now I seriously need someone to stand beside me so I can feel safer, like someone will be blocking everything you don't feel like facing.... ☹ I'm always envious with my friends who have great companions whom they can look for in the day or wake them up even when their friends are in their dreams without getting scolded. Like they'll do anything and everything for you and expect nothing back.

I think I'm actually kind of nice? I don't really get angry with people around me, hence they thought that they can just throw me around and treat everything I said as a joke. No one really knows when I'm serious, and they don't take my words seriously.... So that's why no one understands me and give me what I want. I'm always here when someone needs me, need someone to talk to, when they don't need me, they ignore me. When I need someone to talk to, I'm thinking of who I can turned to, when I start to cry, I'm still alone, because I don't know who I can talk to. Life is so unfair, do I deserve these?

Back To December

2011-03-19T23:42:00.000+08:00

You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk, work and the weather. Your guard is up, and I know why.

Because the last time you saw me, is still burned in the back of your mind.

2011-03-17T21:05:00.002+08:00

This week is like packed with I-don't-know-what-stuffs. I always make time for tumblr but this few days I can log in to tumblr only at night..... I'm stress. Nope not about studies but about the interschool cross country run, Mr Ramesh set a target - top60, for the 16 of us but I'm quite certain that I'll disappoint him. I'm not one of those sporty people, I hardly exercise and definitely I can't compete with those athletics from sports schools. Oh well, I'll just try my best. I'm stress. Tomorrow's POA olympiad and I'll definitely try very hard to make Westwood proud, I hope we will.

Every particles, atoms and molecules inside me miss you.

You could be happy.

2011-03-16T21:39:00.000+08:00

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

2011-03-14T22:57:00.001+08:00

I HATE THIS PLACE SO MUCH I NEED TO ESCAPE.

2011-03-13T21:32:00.001+08:00

I JUST REALISED WHEN I'M PISSED OFF, LIKE REALLY PISSED OFF, I'VE NO ONE TO TALK TO.

2011-03-12T22:20:00.000+08:00

I miss my bestfriends and I need someone to talk to.

2011-03-10T23:20:00.001+08:00

I am afraid for my future. I know it won't turn out like I want it to, and I don't know if I can deal with that.

Thank god tomorrow is the last day of term 1. I've start on doing my geography report, started reading on redox, start to gear up for cross country & POA olympiad. My stomach is aching frequently and it suck.

2011-03-09T21:18:00.007+08:00

All of you have no idea how troubled I'm with my weight issues, I'm not skinny idk why you guys say I'm skinny. My limbs are damn flabby and I can't wait to reach a legal age to do liposuction. I'm very troubled whenever I wear shorts but do you expect me to wear jeans in such a hot weather? I always say I want to starve myself but I CAN'T. I end up eating and eating and eating. I want to exercise but I always procrastinate. I feel fat everyday, I feel like I can never be skinny. I want long and skinny legs with no trace of fats. Yingjie, just starve.

And the sore eyes issue is getting worse and worse. I don't know how to deal with it, its all my fault. Because of my stubbornness, my classmates have to suffer with me. They've to go through what I've gone through, struggle to go to school but get chased home. Today one of the teachers directly pushed the blame to me and at that instance I felt like crying, yah i know its my fault and i already tried to make up for it, so what now you tell me what to do?

I'd wish to strongly emphasize on how much I don't like you, or if there's stronger verbs to describe this feeling. So don't expect me to be friendly to you because you don't deserve it, I despise you no matter how nice you're to her, okay?

2011-03-07T17:18:00.002+08:00

Ouch the sunburn at my back....... Going to run with my classmates to get ready for Sports Heats (II), going to have fun as usual :-) Love times spent with 5B, as a whole. Today we celebrated Weijie's birthday today during the afternoon break. And something which spark off my life a little bit, I've been chosen to run for National Cross Country Run!! So excited, I can diet and its my first time running for such a huge event!

So nervous for Sports Heats (II), so nervous for POA Olympiad, so nervous for xcountry run!!!

2011-03-05T00:41:00.002+08:00

I know this is stupid but I cry once every two days this week because of guilt. My classmates are suffering because of my stubborn act. I feel their pain because I gone through that too. Everyday something will just remind me of what I've done wrong.

2011-03-03T22:53:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was definitely a mark in my life, I ran for my class for Sports' Day for the first and last time in secondary school! To my dismay it was counted as the finals as we won't run for this event on the actual Sports' Day itself, and surprisingly, we got 1st. I can't believe I did it?? I managed to secure the first place when it was my turn. Gina did a really great job, she must had used up all her energy during the 400m. Not forgetting yap and lena. I can't believe we got first. Before our turn I was so nervous that I thought it would be okay as long as we don't get the last but we freaking got first?!!

Do y'all know even if it was just the Heats.... but we're all very contented, the 5NA are proud of our achievements :)

2011-03-01T23:20:00.003+08:00

So much things going through my head now...... Whenever I lie down on my head I'm still thinking about them until I'm very tired. This really sucks, like you feel so stressed and locked up in this space, so unhappy and unsatisfying. I need an escape to somewhere new, like I'm a new born.

2011-02-25T22:38:00.002+08:00

My eyes are recovering even though every morning when I wake up, my eyelids are sealed tightly and I usually take 15minutes to open both of them. Its really painful, like your skin are tearing apart. It make me don't feel like sleeping until I fully recover. My upper eyelids are still swollen, I can't even roll my eyes now(lol). Now the left side of my mouth is aching, is my tooth decaying?

Geography and SS test was relatively easy, I studied everything about Iraq&Kuwait but the same old question was tested. Nevermind at least I have them at the back of my head. It was manageable but I've no confidence in scoring well in it? I think people who studied will definitely get better grades than me. I hate myself for trying to triumph in everything I do, always.

2011-02-23T21:16:00.004+08:00

Taking a break by blogging, I'm so so so tired from all the revision I did this week. My eyes are sore red but I'm still struggling to keep myself awake to revise for the common tests. I've a box of cotton wool beside me and sponge with water so I can clean my eyes, so much for struggling............ Nevermind, the best comes after I get through the tough. This definitely isn't the toughest I've went through since I've made it through n levels.

Thanks to all who cared for my eyes especially those who I'm not close to, spams heart. Lena lena if you're looking here you'd better give yourself a break after studying!!! Love you :)

Persevere Yingjie!!!

2011-02-19T21:33:00.001+08:00

Don’t say that it didn’t mean anything or it was not worth it. If you’ve thought about her everyday or if you memorized her laugh, then at one point, she must have meant something to you.

2011-02-17T17:32:00.004+08:00

Future is really unpredictable.

I remember last year, I failed a chemistry test terribly and I cried through the whole lesson. My best friend was beside me, he was not consoling me or anything, but just letting me cry throughout the whole lesson. He was there beside me throughout the 1hour, throughout the whole year. Right now, we're strangers, we're not talking. I'm acting tough by ignoring him, trying to act as if he doesn't affect me. But the truth is, he meant something to me, I really do treat him as my best friend, until now I still do. Everytime I see him, I think of what we used to talk about in the past.

I wonder if he feels the same?

2011-02-14T22:06:00.003+08:00

When I'm sad y'all come running back to me asking me whether I'm alright, truthfully I don't know if it comes from the bottom of your heart, whether you're concerned or just trying to join in the crowd. Trying to tell me that I'm such a pathetic girl, crying everyday, someone who can't figure out what she wants. Actually I think I expect too much, I want and need everything to be done near to perfect. Whatever it is, if it falls below my expectations, I'll cry immediately. Try me.

Today I got back my chemistry test... I scored fine but inside me I'm actually crying. It isn't what I expected, I could have done better but no matter how much times I repeat this, the outcome is still the same.

Do you know why I cry? Because I care so much about y'all. I can't afford to lose anything, including my best friends and you-know-who-you-are. Don't show me your hypocritical concern only when people mentioned what happened to me, I've got enough of it, seriously....... Just do all you want. I hate being with you, you never fail to make me feel unimportant. And when y'all say I can text you all whenever I'm upset and all, but when it comes to that which happened, I can't bring myself to tell anyone. I'd rather cry, cuddle under my blanket and cry. Waiting for someone who will actually made an effort to pad me on the shoulders and tell me he/she will make those people who make me cry vanish, yes I mean vanish. I want to be sure of everything again. I want to wake up in the morning with people. I don't want to live with doubt. I want everything to make sense. I want to close my eyes and make a decision and that's that. I want to be happy... I want to be happy again.

2011-02-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

So... I've been sick for 11days. I'm missing you 24/7 :-)

2011-02-05T16:09:00.001+08:00

I'll not cry, if I cry my nose will be blocked again. I'm not that stupid. I'll keep these disappointments to myself.

2011-02-04T21:29:00.000+08:00

Sick like my life is going to end tomorrow yet no one bothers if I'm feeling alright. Time to think about my future again, what I want to do after olevels :)

2011-01-30T23:42:00.002+08:00

Although this may sounds stupid, time really heals all wound. I used to think people who say that to console me were morons. But I realised as time passes, I gradually forget what happened in the past, and I rarely feel unhappy about it when someone mentions me. I mean, I don't feel as sad as the past? Letting go isn’t a one time thing, its something you do everyday, over and over again.

I want to find someone who won’t go away. Someone who’ll look me in the eyes and tell me it’s okay that things don’t always go right, because on days like these, he will always be with me to make things better.

2011-01-23T00:01:00.003+08:00

I think I know why I always can't fall asleep when I want to. There's too much things I think about, so many things to worry about and thinking what should I do the next day, how to get pass the same old day every night before I fall asleep.

2011-01-19T18:50:00.002+08:00

The feeling I get when I finally completed my homework..

Social studies done, chinese done, english done! I wanted to reward myself with a nap but I don't dare to because I want to study geog & chemistry when my brain tells me I need a rest. I'm tired everyday and today is only the third day of the week, I feel like breaking down everyday. I feel that there is a layer of stress above me and it won't ever go away.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’.

2011-01-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

To study: Geography, Chinese, Social Studies & Chemistry. X

2011-01-14T22:00:00.001+08:00

You were someone I hoped I wouldn't fall for. But somehow, I did. I gave you a part of me and showed you a side of myself I had never shown anyone. I fooled myself and others into thinking you couldn't hurt me. But I was wrong. Because you did. But I want to thank you. I need to thank you. Because you taught me to stand up for myself. You taught me to tell others what I want. You forced me to make decisions. The boy I didn't think would mean that much to me ended up helping make me, me. And you mean more to me than I can explain in words.

2011-01-13T21:16:00.000+08:00

The fluttering feeling in your stomach when you cry alone and no one knows.

2011-01-12T19:37:00.001+08:00

I will never be pleased with my own body.
I want to be skinny.

2011-01-10T17:29:00.002+08:00

I'm glad all my hard work paid off last december and today, I guess this is the best I've done and I don't think I'll do any better this year. I study til late hours every night, stay in school for extra lessons, head to the NTU to study, cry because I'm worried I wouldn't do enough. But all these are worth it, I scored better than I expected. I got all As, and the best thing is, I got an A2 for emaths. The first and last A for my maths, I'll never ask for more. Hard work really pays off, and most important is to believe that I can pull through this :-) Never in my life did I got straight As, and probably this will be the first and last time I can get it too. This year will be another tough year, and I'll put in more effort for my olevels :-)

2011-01-09T19:12:00.000+08:00

THIS.IS.LIFE

2011-01-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

Skinny.
Bones and no trace of fats.

2011-01-03T21:12:00.003+08:00

What happened in 2010:

Made best friends from friends.
Lose around 5-6kg only.
Cheated for SS test and cried like a bitch.
NTU became my third home.
Addicted to mac chicken meal.
Cut a short hair (!!!!!)
Met someone and got ditched.
Had the best birthday surprise.
Also surprised my best friend during her birthday!!
Worked for the first time.
Spent money like water.
Fainted the first time in my entire life.
Attended my first korean concert.
Went to korea - I want to go again.
Got a new camera G12.
Also got a whiteberry from my dad as a reward.
Got top in school for nlevels.
Got top for SS prelims - meant alot to me because I made my teacher proud,.
First A2 for english in my entire life.
First A1 for combined humans in my entire life (!!!!!!!!!!)
Became a pro gossip bitch.

I think 2010 was overall a good year.. My academic results improved so much, which I can really see for myself even if you still think I still suck. I hope this year will be even better. And thank God for everything he had given me (even though I'm not a christian), I know He has planned something better for me :-) I'm excited for school, for this year, I'll study all I can, I'll never take a break.

From 2009:
To 2010:

Obviously I changed alot... my looks, character and attitude. I met new friends along and lose some friends. And 4D is splitting which I feel really sad? I think partly its because of what we always strive for together as One. Especially the Teenage teacher's day contest, sleepless nights and worrying everyday before teacher's day. Dancing together during cultural expressions and painting mutt &mittens. Things always come to an end and this year will be my last year in wwss so eventually we'll still separate. As for now, we'll just study all the way for our examinations ;-)

2011-01-03T02:35:00.005+08:00

I wonder if you remember we used to be very close, you always give in to me and gave me what I want. You always offer to accompany me when I'm bored but during the holidays we drifted and began to lose contact. You changed and I don't know whether you're still the old you who'll always be there for me. See you tomorrow. X I hope everything remains the same and we'll still be best friends, right?

Actually everyone is alone ever since they came to this world, people come to be with you out of kindness, they're not obliged to stay with you so one day they'll just leave without you knowing. You've to return everything they left with you, and what you'd be able to keep are just memories. To you they're your heroes but maybe to them, you're nothing. So little that they can just leave without feeling a tinge of sadness. This world is that cruel. Its okay, you've to lose something to know its importance, and you've to let go of something to gain something better.

I’ve learned that: goodbyes will always hurt, pictures can never replace being there, memories forget the hard times, words can never replace feelings, and heros often go unsung.

2011-01-01T02:19:00.002+08:00

I can get tricked for the first time but you're trying to trick me again yet I'm allowing myself to get tricked, that's stupidity, but I like it.

2010-12-30T01:20:00.006+08:00

Blogging while watching SBS Gayo Daejun 2010's performances and my contact lens are getting out of place... Nevermind will use my bare hands to shift it back lol.

Made for @sflush

Eating bananas with style:p

Priceless

2010-12-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

And this space between us, fills up with all the words we don’t and won’t say.

My pre-new year resolutions.

2010-12-26T21:34:00.002+08:00

Lose 5kg by mid june 2011.
Results to be always improving.
Stress-free.
Meet good people and drift from bad people.
Be less annoyed and angry.
To be always nice.
And lastly, appreciate all the good things around me.

2010-12-26T19:30:00.002+08:00

There is nothing in the world that belongs to me.

2010-12-25T00:44:00.001+08:00

MERRY
CHRISTMAS

I'm tired now so I'm going to bed! Santa santa, all I want is to be skinny and happy. X Goodnight everyone!

2010-12-22T20:51:00.005+08:00

I spent my day with Yuhui and my primary school bestie!
This caramelcrisp popcorn is damn schweet but addictive, yet easily get sick of.

2010-12-22T02:06:00.004+08:00

糟糕..........望了做那些quiz...改天在做ok?

Wishlist

2010-12-16T13:30:00.003+08:00

Coach Poppy Wristlet

PowerShot SX130 IS

Day 4

2010-12-16T13:30:00.002+08:00

Seven People Who Inspire You, and Why?:

Mr Lim
Ms Serene Tan
Mitch Albom.
Elizabeth Alexander
Kang Chol-Hwan
J. D. Salinger
Jay Park

They're awesome.

Day 3

2010-12-16T13:07:00.002+08:00

Eight Places You Want To Visit:

Korea
Las Vegas
Hongkong
Sri Lanka
Bangkok
United States
Madagascar
Hollywood

Day 2

2010-12-16T13:05:00.001+08:00

Nine Things You Can’t Live Without:

Whiteberry
Computer
Sleep
Money
Shopping
My two besties cjy&lena

Ok I'll fill them up when I thought of them

Day 1

2010-12-13T21:20:00.002+08:00

Ten Things You Wanted/Want To Be When You’re Older:

I want to find someone who has always been looking for me.
Rich enough to take care of my dad, my bro, and myself.
Be a university graduate.
Stay at Korea for at least 6months.
Tell my best friend we've been through thick and thin for 10years.
Someone to give me a birthday surprise at 12am.
Meet my favourite artiste close-up.
Be skinny.
Do liposuction at the age of 20.
Loving life and be happy with my loved ones.

Yep, I'll be like this when I'm older. Soon.

2010-12-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

Random 10 Day Challenge

Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want To Be When You’re Older

Day 2: Nine Things You Can’t Live Without

Day 3: Eight Places You Want To Visit

Day 4: Seven People Who Inspire You, and Why?

Day 5: Six of Your Favorite Books

Day 6: Five Things You Can Eat Everyday

Day 7: Four Songs That Describe Your Life Right Now

Day 8: Three favorite Cartoon Characters

Day 9: Two Movies You Absolutely Love

Day 10: One Quote That Describes Your Life Right Now

You

2010-11-21T00:26:00.003+08:00

I miss how you lie on my laps.
I miss how you always steal my food.
I miss how you always want me to rest on your shoulders.
I miss the awkward silence between us.
I miss how you always tell me that my bones are disgusting.
I miss how people tell me you don't like me saying that I'm fat.
I miss how you tell me that I should be happy.
I miss how you tell me that I should be filial to my grandmom everything I fight with her.
I miss the times when we talked til 4am in the morning.
I miss the times you wait for the bus with me.

And I miss your smell.

I hate my life, I'm unhappy most of the time because of jealousy. I'm jealous. Why people have the things I don't have and they can do whatever they want which I can't? Why are humans selfish? Why? Is this what God had created? Selfish people and selfish world?

2010-11-18T20:23:00.000+08:00

The feeling I used to feel around you, is keeping me alive.

2010-10-19T22:27:00.002+08:00

I want to delete everything I have of us. Everything that reminds me of how we use to be. All the memories that used to make me so happy. Then maybe I won't have anything to compare what we have now versus what we had then, because I think that's what's killing me. Not that there's much to delete anyways. In our nearly 8 months together we barely have any pictures, and I really don't have much from you in my "memory box" but that was okay with me because I didn't need pictures or materials to feel like you loved me. You showed it to me, you told me everyday; I felt it deep in my bones.

- Tumblr

2010-10-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

GIVE
ME
A
FUCKING
BREAK
.

2010-10-04T20:41:00.001+08:00

Nothing goes as planned
Everything will break
People say goodbye
In their own special way
All that you can rely on
And all that you could fake
Will leave you in the morning

2010-10-02T23:18:00.001+08:00

算了, forget about it. 난 더 이상 못 참겠어...

2010-09-21T17:20:00.001+08:00

Immediate and intensive tummyache right after roadrun today! I studied the whole day today and it was pretty productive. I'm going to start revising geography from today onwards!! I'm willing to go to school with a cui face as long as my hard work produce great results. X

2010-09-20T22:49:00.003+08:00

I wonder who is still reading this space of mine.. I've been always & frequently updating my twitter: @yingjievil but I think I'm going to stop tweeting for a period of time, most probably until n levels end? Today was a really bad day and a bad start for this week. I had a small quarrel with two of my friends, one of them tried to peace out with me on his own accord while the other one... well I can't be bothered because, he's not worth it?

I've got too much things which can't be said and people are curious by nature, so I'd better keep them to myself rather than posting them out. Actually I've got a private blog, which of course only I know and its locked. And I've got a tumblr (here) where I only reblog/blog stuffs which really pretty much or less describe myself. Most importantly is the pretty pictures!

I hope things will turn better, and I want to get out of this damn school asap. I don't hate this school, I just don't like the way things work out inside. Luckily I always have megasmilez with me, my secrets are always safe with her :-) And now hanging out with my favourite group of people lenazx kelxiz dlla lyc dirtybandage! All the best for our exams!

2010-08-08T21:21:00.001+08:00

Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. But if they knew the way he made me feel.. they would understand.

2010-07-23T22:57:00.001+08:00

"Just promise me one thing, promise me that when you pick the boy you’re really going to be with, that he’ll be someone who respects you and treats you well. And, it’s someone who makes your heart race and that he’s someone you love because of what he is, not what he does. Use your head and follow your heart."

2010-07-21T21:15:00.001+08:00

Does anyone understand how I feel, the overwhelming tiredness inside me?

I'm sick of it, really sick of it.

2010-07-13T19:28:00.000+08:00

Every night I stay up past 12, past 1, etc. Not because I’m not tired. Not because I want to tweak on these social networking sites. Because I am tired, I want to sleep. But I can’t because my mind runs like crazy. It over thinks, over analyzes things that I don’t want to think about. So I purposely keep myself awake & tire myself out so that when I do finally lie in bed, I fall asleep and my thoughts don’t keep me up.

2010-07-11T22:47:00.000+08:00

One of these days you'll be under the covers
You'll be under the table and you'll realize
That all of your days are numbered, all of them one to one hundred
All of them millions, all of them trillions

So what are you gonna do with them all?
You can not trade them in for more, no, no

Take every moment, you know that you own them
It's all you can do, use what's been given to you

Gimme a reason to fight the feeling
That there's nothing here for me
'Cause none of it's easy, I know it wasn't meant to be
I know it's all up to me, it's all up to me

So what am I gonna do with my time?

Live like you're dying and never stop trying
It's all up to you, use what's been given to you

2010-07-02T17:03:00.003+08:00

Things to complete: Mensuration worksheet + Chinese 1172 + Study SS.

Finally ss test is over, its pretty manageable but I'm quite sure I'll get a borderline fail/pass, because I didn't put in much effort. POA got me all fluttered.. Its killing me inside out.

2010-06-30T17:55:00.002+08:00

I'm taking a break from maths now! I think we're having a test next thursday? And we're having ss test on friday too:( Next week is our nlvl english oral... My life is boring, its all studying. I still have chinese to be completed by today. I don't know what to blog seriously:( I used to have tons of stuffs to be blog right? Hehe. Alright, back to work! Tata~ Hate my life :-(

2010-06-27T17:12:00.002+08:00

School is starting tomorrow.. :'( I dread this but I suppose this is a good thing! I've to start mugging for prelims and nlevels after school reopen. No time for computer and food okay lyj!! Kk byebyez.

2010-06-23T11:39:00.005+08:00

All I ask is that you let me spend forever feeling this way, before you take me.

2010-06-17T10:38:00.001+08:00

Hi!! I'm going to town later and I'm the only girl, because @kelxiz put me aeroplane loh.. But its okay!! Hehe, going to buy my favourite double chocolate frappe later, so long since I drank! Hopefully I won't buy anything later except for a pretty shorts! Annyeong.

2010-06-15T13:37:00.002+08:00

There's nothing to do today.. I shall do POA to keep myself busy so I won't think too much:( I think my life is pretty screwed up now. I'm going to leave on the 17th, miss me? I don't feel happy now because I don't think there are any reasons I should be. I'm confused again, super confused.

2010-06-13T22:11:00.005+08:00

Time to update! I'm going swimming tomorrow and town in the afternoon with @farahbummy. I'm aware that my bank amount is decreasing hour by hour, haha. I can't wait for BEAST to come singapore, xoxo.

Seriously don't know what to blog.. I guess I've lost my blogging bug :( Shall update when there are interesting events~ I shall flood my blog with pictures after I'm back from australia. Love my faithful readers! Tata.

2010-05-30T21:43:00.001+08:00

I.feel.so.sick :(

2010-05-26T23:12:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, you just need someone to talk to. Someone who is not only willing to be there for you, but understands you & what you’re going through. Someone who you out down your guards & reveal your imperfections. Someone who will never judge you or sway away even from the mistakes you make. Someone who doesn’t need words to prove but you both know that the person will always be there. Someone who loves you, truly for who you are. One of the greatest gifts in life is having the chance to find someone like that in your life.